This is an example of how you should NEVER use Photoshop….please…..
A new survey asked bosses to name the DUMBEST excuse they’d ever heard from an employee trying to get out of work. And if THESE are the lies people tell, they really need to learn to lie better. Here’s the top 10:
#10.) “I dyed my hair the wrong color.”
#9.) “My dog is scared and I don’t want to leave him.”
#8.) “I drank too much and fell asleep on someone’s floor, but I don’t know where I am.”
#7.) “I’m taking a bath and my toe is caught in the faucet.”
#6.) “My pants split on the way to work.”
#5.) “The dog ate my shoes.”
#4.) “I hurt myself during sex.”
#3.) “I’m stuck in the house because the door is broken.”
#2.) “My girlfriend bit me in a ‘sensitive’ place.”
#1.) “My mom just died” . . . from an employee who’d used that excuse once before.
Do you ever fantasize about getting your boss fired? Well, “Forbes” magazine talked to five different career coaches, and they all agreed that about 90% of people who TRY it end up failing. And obviously it’s risky.
But if you’re hoping to be one of the 10% who succeed, they do offer some tips on how to go about it. Here are the four that are most crucial.
1. Become a Valuable Member of the Staff. If you haven’t been there long or you’re still entry-level, you pretty much have zero chance of getting your boss fired . . . unless of course he sexually harasses you or something.
In reality, you have to have at least SOME clout if you’re planning to go over his head and talk to management about how bad he is. Otherwise, they won’t listen.
2. Gather Allies. Meaning, find co-workers who feel the same as you do, and see if they’ll talk to upper management WITH you. If you approach it as a group, there’s a much higher chance you’ll succeed, and less of a chance YOU’LL get fired.
3. Keep Your Emotions in Check. If you make it sound like a personal issue, your boss probably won’t get canned for it.
But if you can clearly explain why your boss is unprofessional . . . or better yet, why he’s costing the company money . . . you might have a case.
4. Be Patient. Even if you make a strong argument for why your boss should be let go, it probably won’t happen quickly. If anything, they’ll keep an eye on him and see if the points you made were actually valid. Since most companies don’t like firing upper-level employees, it can take YEARS.
We hate to make blind judgment about your character . . . but we’re guessing you’ve faked a sick day at some point in your career. Well . . . even if your boss played along, there’s a good chance they didn’t believe you.
According to a new survey, 60% of bosses say they usually DON’T believe their employees when they call in sick.
The main reason for not believing an employee is that they don’t SOUND sick enough. The number two reason is nice weather outside . . . number three is the person seemed totally fine the day before.
One in three bosses say they now check social media to see if the employee is dumb enough to post something that proves they were lying about being sick.
The average person says they’ve faked four sick days.
Here are a couple other examples what some of us have done to ourselves in the name of fad dieting:
The Liquid Diet: This diet actually dates back to 1087. Historians credit William the Conqueror as the inventor of the liquid diet. Legend has it that the English king became too fat to ride his horse, so he went on an all-liquid diet. The only problem was that his liquid of choice was booze. He died a year later.
The Cigarette Diet – Believe it or not, back in the Roaring ’20s cigarette manufacturers promoted the weight-loss benefits of smoking.
The Sleeping Beauty Diet: This was popular in the 1960s and basically just involved popping a few sleeping pills before dinner so you would be too tired to eat.
Cookie Diet: Born in 1975, one Miami doc would have his patient eat 6 amino acid-packed cookies a day (with a sensible dinner) to help the weight come off.
The Cotton Ball Diet: As the millenium turned, so did our intelligence, as people started eating cotton balls to keep them full! Ew!
New slang words make you angry – You probably get even angrier when you think about all the text shortcuts the “kids” are using these days.
Clothing becomes complicated – Jeans and a shirt used to be fine. When you’re an old man, you’re expected to think about your wardrobe a bit more.
Every debate makes you roll your eyes – Young guys argue about the issues of the day. Politics. Religion. Sports. Old guys have heard it all and know nobody will ever be swayed from their beliefs. So why fight?
New music shocks you – You know young guys have crappy taste in music, but the songs you liked when you were younger were never THAT bad, were they?
Sure, unless you’re stuck with a crappy job – made worse by the heat.
Here’s a rundown of some of the worst summer jobs out there:
This is The Bobby D Show from Monday May 20th 2013. On this morning’s program we discussed Shakira leaving ‘The Voice,’ a new movie about a guy who’s having trouble parking, double espresso coffee charms for kids, comedy from Kyle Kinane, a listener’s email about a hairy situation, the Top 5 series finales of all time, habits that you need to drop after college, foods to avoid eating in front of women, 4 tips for your next hotel visit and Lauren Holly stopped by to chat about her new show on ABC called ‘Motive,’ which airs tonight at 10PM on ABC.