1. A frustrating game. Something with confusing instructions, or some logic puzzle that’s impossible to figure out.
2. A jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece. It involves a deliberate act of sabotage, but they can’t prove anything . . . which is even more infuriating. And they don’t find out until they get to the END of the puzzle and can’t finish it.
3. A bug lollipop. You’ve seen these before . . . clear lollipops with grasshoppers or scorpions inside. They can throw it away, or take the challenge. You win either way.
4. Wilted flowers. There are actually websites that will deliver them already wilted, for the biggest possible insult. Check out thepayback.com.
5. A magic trick that doesn’t work. They sell these at novelty shops. Everything will look like they’re doing it right, but the coin never disappears.
For many fans, your season is over. Sorry about that. Now’s the time to lash out and admit that you hate your team.
Other than just playing like garbage and losing games, here are some reasons to jump off your team’s bandwagon:
It trades its best player.
It fires or lets a legendary coach leave.
It charges you tons of money for tickets and concessions.
The style of play is boring to watch.
The coach is a tool.
It lets its best player walk away.
The owner is a tool.
It is constantly in rebuilding mode.
Here are some signs that you may have a terrible haircut:
Your girlfriend suddenly lifts her “no hats in nice restaurants” rule.
People ask if you just got a haircut, then nod sympathetically when you say “yes.”
Your mom abruptly reschedules the family photo shoot she’s been so excited about, due to circumstances beyond her control.
When you show your I.D. to bouncers, they ask what happened to you.
This is The Bobby D Show from Wednesday December 4th, 2013. On this morning’s program we discussed the worst girlfriend EVER, 12 things you should buy (for much cheaper) after Christmas, we got even with telemarketers once again, 12 completely random facts, eating with a coffee maker, the biggest fridge mistakes that you might be making, the most annoying Christmas songs of all time, stand up comedy today from Chris D’Elia, one minute inside a woman’s head, who the worst gifts come from during the holiday season and SO MUCH MORE!
1. The Statue of Liberty would wear size 879 shoes.
2. The letter “Z” is so common in Polish, it’s only worth one point in Poland’s version of Scrabble.
3. A ransom payment to a kidnapper is tax deductible.
4. In 1895, there were only two cars in Ohio, and they crashed into each other.
5. Only 1% of car alarms go off because of an attempted theft.
6. Only 22 of the 193 countries in the world have never been invaded by the British.
7. At any moment in time, 45 million people around the world are drunk.
8. Just 16 ounces of milk can contain milk from more than 1,000 cows.
9. The little pocket in your jeans was originally designed to hold a pocket watch.
10. There’s only one pirate in history who ever actually buried treasure: William Kidd, who supposedly buried some of his gold on Long Island.
11. You only need to be three feet underwater to be protected from a bullet.
12. The paint on the Eiffel Tower weighs as much as 10 elephants.
You might THINK you just scored the best deals of your life on Black Friday. But a lot of the most popular Christmas gifts are actually cheaper AFTER the holidays. Here are 12 things you SHOULDN’T buy before Christmas.
1. Big-screen TVs. The best deals come AFTER Christmas, usually in late January. They’re trying to sell everyone a new TV right before the Super Bowl. On average, the deals on HDTVs 55 inches and larger are 10% lower than on Black Friday.
2. Furniture. New models are usually released in February and August. So stores give their best deals in January and July, to clear out the old inventory.
3. Skis. You get much better sales in March and April, at the end of ski season.
4. Bicycles. September is the best time to buy, with discounts of 25% or more. Manufacturers bring out new models in the fall. And bikes often don’t change much from year to year, so it’s smart to buy the older model for less.
5. Cars. The last week of the year is the best time, because dealers will negotiate more. They get manufacturer incentives based on the calendar year, so it’s their last chance to cash in.
6. Caribbean cruises. The off-peak months give you the cheapest rates. And spring is better than fall, because you don’t have to worry so much about hurricanes.
7. Luggage. The biggest markdowns are usually in March, because sales drop after the holiday travel season, and don’t pick up again until people start planning summer vacations.
8. Jewelry. Everyone wants to buy jewelry for Christmas gifts, so sellers don’t offer good deals. The best time is right after Valentine’s Day, after all the suckers just paid full price.
9. Linens. Let your in-laws sleep on the old sheets. The big white sales come in January. It’s actually a tradition that goes back to the 19th century.
10. Perfume. Same as with jewelry. Everyone buys it for Christmas and Valentine’s Day, so you should wait until late February. And the lowest prices will be online.
11. Suits. Buy them in January, when the fall and winter collections go on sale to make room for the spring collections. If you need a spring suit, buy it in July.
12. Broadway tickets. January and February are the best times to see a show. During January’s Broadway Week, you can often get two-for-one deals.
42-year-old Debbie Wood also checks her man’s texts, emails, and phone records to make sure he’s not cheating on her.
Doctors have officially diagnosed Debbi with Othello Syndrome, which is a psychiatric disorder that causes sufferers to be convinced their partners have been unfaithful even though there is no evidence to support the belief.
Could you imagine choosing to get married and agreeing to be monitored every single day for the rest of your life?
Actually, the question is, could you imagine anything worse?
The same is true of soldiers in Afghanistan, who figured out how to cook actual food using only the coffee makers in their rooms.
Here’s a rundown of some foods you can actually cook using nothing more than your coffee maker:
Chocolate Fondue – Heat up some cream in your coffee pot and then add some pieces of a chocolate bar in there.
Lemon Pepper Chicken and Mashed Potatoes – Put chicken in the coffee pot, adding enough water to cover a quarter of it. Add lemon pepper seasoning and heat that stuff up. When the chicken is done, you can add milk, butter, and potato flakes to create mashed potatoes.
Steamed Vegetables – Throw veggies like carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower into the filter basket and run water through the coffee maker a few times until the vegetables are tender.