Eight Things You Should Never Put on Your Resume
May 23rd, 2013
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Considering a resume is the first thing most employers ever see from an applicant, it’s pretty incredible that so many resumes are such a turnoff to employers. Salary.com has eight tips to help keep your resume out of the trash.
1. Weird hobbies. You might think all your weird hobbies make you more interesting in an interview, like maybe they’ll be a conversation starter. But actually they just make you LOOK WEIRD. And weird people don’t get jobs when a normal person is available.
2. Your private business. Your marital status, religious affiliation, sexual orientation and other private matters shouldn’t go on a resume. Employers aren’t allowed to take them into account anyway. And for almost all jobs, they’re irrelevant to performance.
3. Big vocabulary words. They won’t impress anyone. People who don’t know them will resent you, and people who do know them will see through it. And BOTH groups will think you’re a showoff.
4. Unprofessional-sounding email addresses. If you’re still rocking your “SexyLady69@gmail.com” address from junior college, open a new account. It’s free and it takes two minutes. If you don’t take the job seriously, you won’t get it.
5. Sensitive identifying information. Don’t give them your social security number before you get the job. You don’t know where they’re storing that resume, or who gets to see it after you hand it over.
6. Attention-getting tactics. Don’t print a resume on colored paper, or use weird fonts or decorations. Hiring managers hate all that stuff, pretty much without exception. It’s all part of taking the job seriously.
7. Wild career objectives. Don’t apply for a job in the mailroom and say you intend to become the CEO. Ambition is great, but delusions will get you passed over.
8. Irrelevant job experience. No one wants to read about your part-time jobs in high school. Stick to the experience that QUALIFIES you for the job you want. If that makes your resume too short, that probably means you shouldn’t be applying in the first place.
Reason to Marry a 19 Year-Old
Most guys, at one time or another, decide to settle down and start a family.
If you’re considering tying the knot, here are some reasons to also consider doing it with a 19-year-old:
The fact that she can’t cook is adorable, instead of annoying.
Being impressed more easily means you have to spend less money.
She’ll actually think you’re smart.
You can pass off a $50k salary as financially stable.
Paying for her tuition is better than paying for plastic surgery.
(EliteDaily.com)
Your Kids Probably Know Your Passwords
According to a new survey, your kids probably know all your passwords and PINs. And if they DON’T, they can probably figure them out.
Eight in 10 kids say they know the passwords for their parents’ computers, phones, and tablets.
One in three kids said their parents KNOW they have the passwords, and LET them use their electronic devices . . . but the rest have to get them on their own.
18% of kids say they got the passwords by peeking over their parents’ shoulder while they were logging on.
But 12% just try some obvious combinations until they FIGURE IT OUT. One in 10 have even locked their parents’ account by guessing wrong too many times.
The survey also found that one in four kids have used their parents’ credit card to buy something online without them knowing. They spend an average of $50. One in five said their parents never found out they spent the money.
People Get It On When Traveling
According to a new survey, people get crazy when traveling.
When asked about their goals for travel, 14 percent of men admitted that they were hoping to hook up while traveling. Only about five percent of women said hooking up was on their mind.
16 percent of respondents said they have hooked up with someone who didn’t speak their language.
No room? No problem. The survey found that 17 percent of people who hooked up while traveling did so in a public place.
One in four people admitted to having a one-night stand while traveling abroad.
And, a total of six percent of respondents admitted to cheating on their significant others while abroad, with men twice as likely to cheat as women.
(HuffingtonPost.com)
Obnoxious Things Restaurants Need to Stop Doing
Most everyone likes eating out at restaurants – but that doesn’t mean restaurants are perfect.
Here’s a rundown of some obnoxious things restaurants need to stop doing:
Ask How the Meal is Mid-Bite – Is it more polite to answer with a mouthful of food or to ignore the question?
Serve Food That Doesn’t Belong in a Restaurant – You should never have to leave home to get a grilled cheese sandwich.
Offer a Ridiculous Number of Menu Items – Life is complicated enough. Sifting through 14 pages of food choices is more trouble than it’s worth.
Happy Birthday Songs – It’s annoying to the person celebrating the birthday, and it’s annoying to everyone else in the restaurant.
(Cracked.com)
The Bobby D Show #821
Podcast (podcasts): Download (47.6MB)
This is The Bobby D Show from Wednesday May 22nd 2013. On this morning’s program we discussed a listener’s email about dating behind someone’s back, what if Morgan Freemon is the big lotto winner from Florida, we spent one minute inside a woman’s head, our morning show consultant had a new idea for us, stand up comedy from Sean O’Connor, 6 random phrases and where they came from, the rules of booty calls, cheap cities to live in after college, the most expensive house in US history is up for sale, a guy ghost hunting catches something TOTALLY different and former Dancing with the Stars champion Melissa Rycroft stopped by to talk about summer safety tips as she teams up with Banana Boat to make us all safer this summer!
A Man in Florida Caught and Killed a 19-Foot Python
If you have ANY fear of snakes, we’ve got a story that’s going to HAUNT YOUR DREAMS.
It happened earlier this month, but just made the news. On May 11th, a guy named Jason Leon noticed a Burmese PYTHON in some bushes in a rural part of Miami-Dade County. And for some reason he decided to PULL it out of the bushes.
And he pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
By the time he was done, he’d pulled out all EIGHTEEN FEET and EIGHT INCHES of the python. Then he lost control, and the python WRAPPED itself around him. Somehow, Jason got his hand free, grabbed his knife, and killed the snake.
This is THE largest Burmese python in Florida history. The previous record was a 17-foot, seven-inch python in the Everglades last year. That python outweighed this one, though . . . 164 pounds to 128.
A Guy Set Up a Camera to Record Ghosts . . . and Caught Something Else
This happened last October, and none of the names have been released . . . but the case just ended up in the Supreme Court of Australia, and it’s pretty ridiculous.
Basically, a guy was convinced that there were GHOSTS in his house . . . so he set up a video camera in his kitchen to get evidence of paranormal activity.
He didn’t find a ghost . . . but he DID catch his 28-year-old girlfriend of 11 years making out with his 16-year-old SON.
The video showed them kissing and cuddling in the kitchen . . . and the woman admitted that she’d had sex with the boy twice. The son said it was actually three times . . . and the affair started when they were discussing driving lessons.
The girlfriend pleaded guilty last week to having sex with a minor . . . and she’s being sentenced this week.
